If I would ask you what the longest and most important relationship of your life is, maybe you would come up with an answer that contains another name than yours.
When we think of the word relationship, most of us probably think at first about the relationships you can have with a romantic partner and secondly the relationships you can have with your family members and friends.
There are even working relationships and sexual relationships and probably many more I don’t happen to think of now. The relationship with God is probably also one, many people could think of the question of what the longest relationship of one’s life is.
I assume that the relationship one has with oneself is one of the last relationships most people would come up with as an answer.
I believe that this tendency is highly connected to the inability of many people to spend quality and entertaining time with themselves, as well as to know clearly what they want to do with and in their lives.
A lot of people don’t consciously think about the relationship they have with themselves.
As with many things you don’t consciously nurture and appreciate, the relationship you have with yourself can suffer if you ignore it too much.
But this is the longest and also the most intensive relationship you have in your life. The one which can give you the most or can make the most of you.
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
Robert Holden
According to Ancient Wisdom, Buddhism and Yoga, as well as some parts of Christianity and other religions or spiritual beliefs, the relationship you have with your true self, is many many lives long if it isn’t eternal, as you’re in essence made out of the same as everything else. Atoms, protons, electrons, neutrons, and strings. Maybe even more. Your idea of your personality lives just for each of your lives. The energy of your pure awareness experiences all of them.
But to get back, the better this relationship “is working”, the better and more full of quality time is your life most likely.
Some people are more aware of their relationship with their past and therefore can forget the general relationship they have with themselves.
Sometimes relationships need to transform things from the past in order to work in harmony again.
Difficulties of having a good relationship with yourself can have many reasons. A general powerful way of increasing the quality of one’s relationship with oneself is working on one’s self-esteem, self-image and reanalyzing one’s values and goals in life.
Clarity of what you want, going for it systematically, self-acceptance for who you are perfectly imperfect and forgiving yourself for past mistakes, failures or “low performances” are three things that can alter the quality of the relationship you have with yourself.
Everyone knows that in airplanes, in case of urgency, you’re supposed to put the oxygen mask for yourself first, before helping others.
By taking care of the relationship with yourself, ideally making it a healthy, loving, caring and motivating one, you are way more capable of going for what really drives you in life, as well as to help others as best as you possibly can.
As in every relationship, being open, curious, compassionate, accepting, trusting and using a respectful language can help to lead a harmonious relationship with others, but also with yourself. Maybe with “your Self” it is even more underlined.
Maybe it’s time for some honeymoon time with yourself.
Enjoy the longest relationship of your life!
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
Diane von Fürstenberg
