Loving, being and dealing with a partner brings potentially a complete set of emotions and challenges. Some even say that they can’t live with them, but also not without. Knowing about YinYang can help a lot in recreating a harmonic relationship.
The relationship between women and men is certainly not only interesting, but also one of the most studied and discussed types of relationship we can think of. We associate the word relationship in general primarily with the concept of a romantic- or sexual relationship.
In Daoism, positive and negative aspects of yin and yang represent a desire for a balanced relationship.
They have the potential to complete each other, but it doesn’t go generally for all women and men being able to complete each other. Because as individuals our male and female attributes have a unique degree and distribution.
Attributes of Yin Energy
A person with prominent yin energy exhibits, is or:
- a passive attitude to life.
- laid back.
- fairly quiet in social situations.
- enjoys solitude and a quiet, peaceful environment.
- very nurturing and enjoy creating a home (nest) for themselves and their family.
- receptive and open.
Attributes of Yang Energy
A person with prominent yang energy exhibits, is or:
- an active attitude to life.
- rather always doing something with high-energy.
- aggressive behavior.
- likes it rather fast.
- likes to penetrate.
- likes to dominate.
- tends to be creatively expressive.
But nobody is always embodying only the attributes of one of them. That is the reason for the dot in the fish’s head of the other fish’s color in the Taijitu.
Everybody has or embodies some attributes of the other gender.
But there are always individuals who embody more attributes of the other gender than the majority of the same gender does.
Very confident and in the business world, just as an example, very successful women tend to embody more male or yang attributes than the majority of women.
And even here it is not possible to keep it with this example. Every person, no matter how peaceful and quiet usually by preference, can embody the extreme opposite of their usual favored behavior and embodied attributes if the situation requires it. Which obviously depends on the person’s judgment of the situation.
Everybody knows that there are people who seem to be more male or female than others.
Being aware of the attributes of Yin and Yang can not only help a lot in better understanding one’s own relationship, but also one’s own actions and behavior.
By asking oneself if one’s attribute is fitting to the need of the situation, goal or other person’s energy.
A relationship is a wave on its own. It goes up and down. But relationships can also stagnate.
Leading and living a relationship with someone is a dance and interchange of many different types of energy. The different energies can be acted out or expressed in varying degrees and amounts. Being able as a couple to balance these energies helps to unite as a couple and lead a harmonious relationship.
But as everybody knows, it is often “complicated”.
When both partners embody too much of the same energy, it can happen that they end up
- when they embody both too much yang energy, being in a never-ending struggle for being right or having the power. Trying to one-up each other or dominate the other. Because aggression belongs to yang energy.
- desiring and seeking the peaceful and calming yin energy from the other that they can’t offer.
- in a lack of creativity and active progress in the relationship when both are dominantly driven by yin energy. Passivity and lack of energy is the reason in many cases. Stagnation is not unlikely to happen.
Keeping the balance by applying YinYang.
Being aware when confronted with one of these problems, an approach to improvement can be to take a look at the attributes and their counter attributes. Being aware of their secret connection. To balance imbalances.
When it gets too stale, a conscious taken action can progress and spice up the relationship.
When there is a lot of yang energy, both can try to find compromises, finding ways of fulfilling both needs and perhaps try to be kinder, peaceful and more supporting to each and with each other.
Communicating openly about one’s desires and needs reveals already, what kind of the yin and yang energy is best, to fulfill the desire or need.
One can always ask oneself what kind of energy one is embodying right now. To lower or increase it or adjust or transform it to another one.
The exchange of energies in a romantic love relationship cannot be underestimated.
It can always happen that one person has more of one energy than the other. Being aware of it and handling it accordingly prevents usually from unnecessary disturbances.
When both persons tend to go for too much of the same, both can slow down or be a bit more active.
A very powerful yin action for balanced and harmonious relationships is listening. Receiving the words of another who most likely feel heard and appreciates it.
Waiting for the other person to finish to bring up one’s own point of view. Listening to the needs of your partner.
Similarly, when you don’t get enough heard, you need to stand up for your needs. In a non-aggressive and non-attacking way.
Using “I – messages”.
A peaceful way of communicating one’s needs and ideas is done by expressing things like:
“I would prefer if things would happen in this way..” rather than “I want you to..” or “I hate it when you..”.
Like this, you express your point but the other doesn’t get and feel directly “attacked” and has therefore, fewer or actually no reasons to “counterattack”.
These three will help enormously to keep the beautiful flow and harmony in one of the most beautiful things there are.
I hope you enjoyed a yin-yang view on relationships and how you can better balance them. Enjoy the lovely application of Chinese philosophy and ancient wisdom.
