This topic can be a hard one, but I give my best to make the ability to forgive or start the process of doing so a little bit easier. By doing so we also clear the way for a wider sense of well-being and ability to feel very good on a daily and regular basis besides normal ups and downs that exist on all heights of the emotional scale we live in.
What is happening when we keep carrying past happenings with us that we haven´t forgiven yet someone else or ourselves?
We don´t only have unnecessary memory-weight to carry with us because those things we haven´t forgiven yet keep coming back in a regular form, we also give them the opportunity to pull our vibes and feelings down to lower frequencies each time we remember them. When we feel resentment because of something we haven´t yet forgiven, our frequencies are negative and only attract more negative vibes.
To feel suddenly resentment of a happening is one thing. It is good to acknowledge that feeling without taking decisions and certain actions because of it. To give the feeling it´s quiet attention until it starts to get weaker to finally disappear. To do this consciously is much healthier than to surpress it but get visited often by it.
To forgive is highly selfish in a positive way.
Because forgiving gives you more space for fulfilment, luck and happiness which all trigger healthier hormones instead of the negative memories that are connected to negative emotions, we also start to be and live more healthy and joyfully. When our mind is predominantly around good, empowering and beautiful thoughts and rather relaxed and confident than anxious and nervous, our body and our organs have it easier to be healthy or to recover.
“The act of forgiveness takes place in our own mind. It really has nothing to do with the other person.”
Louise Hay
It´s your responsibility what you think about.
Besides these points, it also your responsibility of what is happening in your consciousness and with this in your life. What you energize by giving it attention in forms of thoughts, feelings and actions.
So when you are smart about the choice of which things you would like to have in your life, than you probably don´t logically choose something that you haven´t forgiven somebody or yourself.
You choose which things and topics should “matter” in your personal life and therefore you consciously decide which kind of thoughts and things and people you allow or let your mind or yourself to deal with.
Forgiving is not for nothing famous for being difficult, but that is only because of the pain and hurt that the thing has created and on which mental attitude and thoughts regarding it and the doer or reason of thing having happened, you settle yourself with.
The role of your sense of ego.
Your ego plays also a major role, but your ego is your biggest emotional and practical trouble maker in your life, acting from deep within, though actually being far away from expressing your truest and most fulfilled essence of being.
Once you understand that you´re not so good friend the ego is making it hard to forgive, you have it easier at first mentally and then emotionally to give forgiveness and wish only good things happening for everyone involved more space to grow in your consciousness and heart.
Like this you start literally to feel lighter and experience sighs with which you breathe the weight of the not forgiven things out.
Be aware that mistakes and wrong behavior belong to the learning process of everybody.
Another help is to try to truly understand the background of conditions of growing up and perhaps personal motivations and maybe misinformation about something of the person who you haven´t forgiven someone else yet. See that they are as no one perfect and prone as anybody to make harsh mistakes without our true conscious awareness in certain moments and situations that we regret afterwards.
You may never forget but you may forgive.
Realize finally, that it helps nobody and nothing to keep not forgiving and that you don´t only harm yourself with it but also, that there is a difference between not forgetting and forgiving.
You never forget it but you are able to forgive it. Or yourself.
It is also the greatest form of generosity.
Enjoy the process of feeling lighter and more joyful during your days.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
Nelson Mandela
“If we really want to learn how to love, we must learn how to forgive.”
Mother Teresa
Being able to love and be truly happy requires to forgive and to cease giving negative and resentful thoughts space in our mind. And with this to cease to give unnecessary negativity and resentment in our lives the ability to grow.
We always just live in the present moment. We decide it to be focused on resentfulness and on negativity or on forgiving and perhaps even to be joyful no matter what. Because we can choose.
